


where he stumbles, i will hold the melody

by Deanpala



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: 160 spoilers, Archivist Martin Blackwood, Autistic Martin Blackwood, Balance Martin, Based on a very specific headcanon, Buried Avatar Martin Blackwood, Corruption Avatar Martin Blackwood, DND or DND adjacent games are played, Depression, Dollification, Jon is touch starved, Lonely Martin but like in a normal non spooky way, Martin Blackwood Needs a Hug, Multi, Partially follows canon timeline, Suicidal Thoughts, The Mechanisms Were The Archivist's College Band, Web Avatar Martin Blackwood, Will put content warnings in the beginning of each chapter that needs them, and wears a hijab at one point if that sweetens the pot for anyone, but it’s a surprise which one, by the archivist I mean Jon but that’s what the official tag is so, season one is slow but it picks up a lot later I swear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:20:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 6,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24141211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deanpala/pseuds/Deanpala
Summary: Martin is the archivist, and it changes everything.Or; a look into the effects of kindness and unity on a large group of suffering people.Strap in kids, it’s gonna be wild
Comments: 54
Kudos: 228





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title came from this poem:   
> https://welcometotheorbitinghotel.tumblr.com/post/188600341856/i-wrote-a-post-about-how-all-the-rip-to-orpheus

Elias had his eye on Martin Blackwood for a while. 

The thing about Martin is he’s starved, desperate for affection, for glimpses of human connections, and it makes him observant. He has a way of reading people, the smallest shifts in their moods, and people trust him.

There’s no way Martin knows to stave off the loneliness better than by collecting bits of knowledge. He knows how everyone takes their tea, all the details of their life, every birthday and divorce and sob story.

And despite this, no one would notice if he disappeared in the least.

Martin is also eager to please, and Elias knows exactly what he wants and that Martin can provide it. 

So when Gertrude dies, it’s only natural he gets promoted really.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which martins retro aesthetic saves the day

Things were... not going well to say the least.

It was martins first week as archivist and the filing system was a mess, none of the statements would recorded, and his (very cute) assistant thought he was an incompetent idiot who didn’t know what he was doing.

He was right, but still. The man seemed to actively hate him to an upsetting degree and seemed to barely keep himself from shouting at Martin to get back to work when he brought him tea, despite the fact that he was technically his boss and doing something nice for him. 

Martin sighed as he continued to rifle through a box of statements. It wouldn’t matter if they didn’t do everything to library standards would it? The statements were all the same genre and no one would remember who wrote what statement so author hardly mattered. He had already been noticing a few themes show up in the statements so his current thought of organization was “real” “fake” and “unsure” then split into a few vague categories about what sort of experience they’d had and then they could sort by date.

Jon would probably have an aneurism if he actually suggested a system like that, and even he could admit it was mostly because he never memorized the dewy decimal system.

He let out a little excited breath as he found a tape recorder in the box of statements. He loved old things and thought tape recorders had some lofi charm. He’d been working hard, surely he deserved a break, could record some poetry.

Of course mid way through Jon came into his office glowering. Martin let out a squeak and fumbled to shut the recorder off.

“Exactly what is it that you’re doing right now Martin?”

Martin froze for a second desperately trying to think of a lie.

“Well?”

“I-I-I um- well the- the statements don’t recorded digitally so I thought that well, maybe they’d- they’d record on this.”

Jon gave him a flat look.

“You do know that tape recorders are actually still digital and much worse at not distorting sound right?”

“Well yeah but it’s worth a try?”

“And is it working?”

Martin looked uncomfortable.

“I don’t- I haven’t gotten that far yet I was mid recording.”

Jon continued to stand there and stare judgmentally at Martin.

“Was there something that you needed, Jon?” 

“I was going to ask if there was any progress on getting the difficult statements to record. It looks like you’re in the middle of seeing if you have so it rather seems like a waste leaving now just to come back in a few seconds to ask again.”

“R-right I’ll just um- get to it then.”

Martin pulled out his phone and recorded the nearest statement on it and the recorder as quickly as he could.

“Statement of Jacob, no second name given, regarding… a warning. Original statement given July 15th 2011.

Statement begins.

‘It’ll get you too. You can stare all you want, make your notes and your inquiries, but all your beholding will come to nothing. When the time arrives, and all is darkness and butchery, you’ll wish you had stopped listening and run.’

Statement ends. Well that’s rather... ominous. Wonder who it’s for.”

Jon clears his throat and Martin jumps a bit. He had somehow entirely forgotten Jon was there, which shouldn’t be possible because he could feel he was being watched through the statement.

“Right yeah sorry. Seeing if it worked now.”

Martin was VERY careful to not go back far enough that his poetry would play. To his and Jon’s utter surprise, the tape worked.

Martin let out a little joyous laugh and looked at Jon.

“Well there we have it, it works! Now we can get right to recording these properly and you and Tim and Sasha won’t have to try and figure it out anymore!”

Martin was met with an incredulous look.

“Surely you can’t be serious, these things are far from any sort of practical.”

Martin gave him a half hearted shrug.

“It’s better than nothing?”

Jon pinches the bridge of his nose and looked rather like he was physically restraining himself from saying something rude before sighing.

“Fine, I’ll tell Tim and Sasha so we can get started on our actual work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone wondering about the categories don’t I’m not making Martin immedietly just have the entities figured out before Jon would’ve, it’s more that he 1) knows what he’s doing far less than Jon did and doesn’t even know where to start pretending he knows what he’s doing so like might as well go full on out yeah? 2) more genre savvy or at least willing to bring it into his real life 3) is not a perfect copy of the entities. He more of has four very vague categories that would never fly as an actual system, namely violence, trapped, body horror, and mind fuckery so like obvious ones lie desolation and hunt go to violence, trapped covering the lonely the vast and the buried, body horror handling the flesh but also like Prentiss and mind fuckery is as title would imply, anything that seems like a weird perception. Eye, stranger, web, etc


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone wondering the gaming system is the “fate” system

Jon hates everything about the new Archivist. He is awkward, he rambles on endlessly, seems to want nothing more than peoples approval, and is totally incompetent.

Worst of all, he cares about them as PEOPLE, which has lead Jon to this situation he is currently in. 

Which is mostly comprised of Tim poking him over and over again.

“Jon. Jon. Jon.”

“No Tim.”

“But its a gaaame night it’ll be funnnn.”

“I fail to see how being stuck at a table playing some board or card game or what have you with my coworkers could be ‘fun’.”

“Don’t be like that, you know you love us.”

“Well, some of us,” Sasha chips in grinning. “Besides, Martin said it’s going to be a tabletop game of some sort, and I just know the theater kid in you would eat up the opportunity to play a role like that. Give you an excuse to let loose a bit under the guise of like, taking the game seriously. You can be dramatic to your hearts content.”

“I am NOT dramatic!” Jon protests and Tim and Sasha share a doubtful look at the statement.

“Sure you’re not. Look, even if you don’t come because of our incredibly good points, mine being better than Sasha’s-“

“Hey!” A one flies through the air and Tim dodges out of the way with practiced ease.

“-it’s a work gathering, team building exercises and all that. It’s only professional to go yeah?”

“Okay but is this actually a work thing or are you just saying it is to get me to go?”

Tim shrugs unapologetically “who knows? I’m not telling. Look, just come, and if you hate it I’ll buy lunch tomorrow and I won’t bug you about it again deal?”

Jon lets out a world weary sigh .

“I better not regret this.”

———-

Oh god he regrets this SO MUCH!

He doesn’t think this had been Martins plan of course, he didn’t set everything up Tim was the one who had insisted on pirates and Sasha brought up space, but Martin has CERTAINLY run with it and in a very.... familiar direction.

“So the crate of apples explodes, and it cripples your ship. The engines are damaged enough that to get to the nearest planet is now a several day day flight, and the oxygen system is shot. There’s maybe an hour left of breathable air, and only five crew members besides the three of you, what do you do?”

Is this directed at him? Is he being bullied and harassed right now?

“I’d like to role to see if there’s any alcohol or drugs on board, make my last few hours good ones.”

Are they all in on it? Why else would Tim ask that question?

Sasha shoves Tim.

“We only have three questions and you use one to ask your BOSS if you can get high?”

“It’s acting Sasha, I’m just staying in character.” He laughs.

“Don’t worry, I won’t like, Fire you over it. Roll two d6.”

“Solid success!” Tim lifts his hands in the air triumphantly.

“There’s a lot of drugs.”

“Can I identify them?”

“It’s speed.”

“Nice!”

“My turn” Sasha says. “Is there any manual pumping system? I got a mixed success.”

“There is, but it takes several people to man it.”

“Alright that just leaves Jon. What’s your question?”

There’s SO many he has right now, but if they genuinely don’t know about the Mechanisms there’s nothing he can ask without giving himself away.

He settles on trying to end this as fast as possible.

“I’m fine. I’d like to solve.”

Sasha snickers.

“This isn’t cluedo Jon, you don’t have to say that.”

“Still. I think we should take the drugs to stay awake and do the pumping manually.”

Tim lets out a triumphant sound and tries to high five Jon.

He is never doing another game night again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sasha and Tim have no idea who the mechanisms are, and Martin loves them but has no idea Jon is Jonny. 
> 
> Plot will happen next time I promise I just really wanted to do mechs Jon freaking out over nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon feels he has something to prove and suffers for it.
> 
> Content warning: passing out from implied starvation and sleep deprivation. If this is an issue I will put a proper summary in the end notes

Jon sees Martin leave his office with a file, look directly AT HIM, and then walk past to the break room.

He was not going to be overlooked like that, NOT when Elias had already overlooked him for the archivist position.

(He hadn’t wanted the position, but that wasn’t the point, the point was Elias had thought MARTIN would make a better archivist than him. He could only imagine how Sasha felt.)

“Tim? I have some follow up I need done if you don’t mind- oh Jon! You nearly game me a heart attack. What do you need?”

He makes grabby hands for the file.

“Sorry? I don’t understand?”

“I’ll do the follow up, Tims busy enough.”

“Are you sure? It’s a spider one and I know you have a whole thing with-“

This annoys Jon even more and he snatches the file from Martins hands.

“I said I can do it. It’s fine.”

——————-

Martin is worried about Jon. 

He went to look into the Carlos Vittery case about four days ago, and only sent one message. He hasn’t been answering his phone.

So Martin decides to go check on him. 

He peers down the hallway of his flat, and Prentiss is standing outside his door leaking worms.

Martin quickly pulls himself back, and calls the EDC.

She’s gone by the time they get there, and Jon appears to be passed out. It doesn’t look like there was much food in his apartment.

Martin can’t help but blame himself, he’s the one who let Jon do the follow up for the case. He’s the one responsible for the well-being of his employees.

Jon seems incredibly shaken by the whole ordeal, paranoid of every nook and cranny, every thing that crawls on the ground.

He has doubled down on his instance that nothing paranormal happened despite being the one who suffered the worst of it, and he has thrown himself into his work.

It certainly doesn’t help that Martin can’t send him home now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Martin tries to give Tim the vittery case but Jon insists on doing it bc he feels he’s being underestimated.
> 
> He gets trapped in his flat for three days by worms and Martin checks up on him and calls the edc. Jon has passed out, Martin feels responsible, and to cope Jon has become paranoid of every bug he sees, extra denies the supernatural, and throws himself into his work which Martin can’t stop him from as Jon has moved into the Archives


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> college starts back up tomorrow so I won’t be able to update as much but I will try to do once a month if not more.
> 
> Also phew done with season one.
> 
> (I really can’t wait till season four.)

Elias is was rather embarrassed in his choice of archivist, because he now had two people who were marked twice and neither was Martin who just had the one.

Oh well. Short of killing him, there was nothing to be done about removing him, and he might prove useful yet. He could wait.

———————————

Jon was somehow still in denial about the worms which Martin did not.... get.

“Jon. How are you still possibly in denial about this. You’ve been attacked by a worm monster TWICE now. If you don’t believe in the supernatural then WHAT is the point of you working here?”

“Of course I believe I just- it feels... easier to deny it. Safer. It’s... frightening, to acknowledge all this is real but I can’t- I can’t leave. Not until I know what’s going on here, and I KNOW there’s something deeper going on.”

Martin sighs at this, but it is not an annoyed sigh.

“Yeah. Yeah I get that. I’ve- whenever I do a statement it feels like somethings... watching me, and I haven’t really admitted it until now. But I really don’t think in the middle of a life and death scenario is the time to go into denial.”

“No. No I suppose it’s not.”

——————————

Martin is- hesitant, to say the least when it comes to taking everyone’s statements immediately after the fact but well... 

It’s his job and he supposes it can’t be helped. By the time he sees everyone again after that it will have been several weeks, and the human mind is far to malleable for it to have still remembered everything accurately.

Jon at least, seems very pushy that his statement be taken, and when Martin learns why he starts to seriously doubt his taste in men.

Primarily, he starts to doubt that his taste involve sane rational men.

“I didn’t want to tell you until everyone else was gone but I found Gertrude’s body in the tunnels. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell the police.”

“You found- Jon what the hell? Why would- why wouldn’t you tell the police?! They’re job is literally to deal with murders!”

Jon looks at him like HES the one being ridiculous here.

“Well obviously they weren’t that invested in solving it before, and there were- she was shot in the chest. Several times. By what I’m assuming was a human.”

Martin pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Christ Jon that is literally just a homicide. The definition of the type of problems police solve.”

“I know THAT I just- look today’s clearly shown us that a lot of people are out for the Archivist and judging by the location of the body it was someone who works here. If we tell the police they’ll take the tapes that are with her and we’ll never find out who killed her.”

“Jon, I appreciate the thought very much, but I’m not going to break the law and not report a murder for God’s sake.”

Jon is not pleased with this outcome but well, it’s Martins life on the line so that makes it his choice.

He is not going to give into some silly paranoia.

(Not to anyone’s face anyway. If they suspect he suspects something they might come in for the kill, and Jon can’t lie to save his life so he’s hardly going to tell Jon that.)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paranoia babeeeey

Martin is... uncomfortable. There is something deeply wrong with his Archive, he knows.

He’s trying to ignore it, or at least be subtle about it, pulling threads of information from people with carefully placed questions, gentle “how are you really”s and such.

It’s not enough, because there is something else going wrong.

Jon is... frightening Martin a little with his regular reports.

“I just think it’s suspicious that Sasha is disappearing for such long lunches now and! She is spending a lot of time in artifact storage.”

“Jon-“

“Or maybe! Maybe it’s Tim. I followed him home the other day and-“

“You what?!?”

“I followed him home, but that’s not the important part what really matt-“

“Jon that is ILLEGAL, stalking people is against the law, you could at least get an HR complaint. Fired maybe, just don’t- please stop.”

“Why am I the only one who cares if you get murdered?”

Martin’s heart does some rather impractical fluttering considering that Jon is committing crimes against his coworkers but well.

He’s committing them for him, what’s he supposed to do not fall in love?

“You- I- oh. I um- thanks.”

“All I said was that I don’t want you dead?”

“Yeah but- still. Anyway, don’t stalk our coworkers okay?”

Jon grumbles to himself something that sounds like “no more updates,” which Martin steadfastly decides to pretend he didn’t hear.

He doesn’t have issue with what Jon’s actually doing after all, he is actually scared of who might be after him but.

Well, being suspicious around the people who might want him dead is not a wise idea, so he’ll settle for rummaging through their desks after hours is all.

—————————

Basira is- she’s good company sometimes. He can’t always tell when she’s joking or not but he likes her alright. Reminds him a little of Jon.

He does not like her mentioning Jon as a prime suspect.

“He’s jumpy as hell about it. Maybe he thinks that getting on your good side will get you to let down your guard.”

And he hates it because.

It makes sense. Jon was so, SO angry when Martin got promoted, and now he was being nice to him suddenly.

Not to mention that he didn’t want to tell the police about the body.

No he decides, Jon’s a terrible liar he couldn’t have done it. 

And even if he had well. He couldn’t do anything about it. He enjoyed Jon being nice for once and he knew the best way to get knowledge from him was to play along. 

Keep your friends close and enemies closer and all that.

And who said he couldn’t enjoy the company in the meantime?


	7. Chapter 7

Tim seems to be getting angrier at Jon understandably, and he seems to be rather pissed at Martin right now.

“Why the hell are you sending Jon to stalk me?”

“I- what?!? Why would-“

“He broke into my home and then said he was trying to make sure I wasn’t going to murder you.”

“Tim. I swear I didn’t send Jon to do anything. In fact, I’ve been actively telling him to STOP.”

“And what, he’s still doing it for you anyway despite your wishes?”

“Yes! He’s Jon! What about any time we’ve ever interacted made you think I could control anything he does?”

“Ok, fair point. But you still KNEW what he was doing and didn’t say anything.”

Martin blushes and looks away.

“Well I didn’t- I’m sorry Tim, I didn’t think of it like that, I’ll tell you if he does it again.”

“You didn’t ‘think of it like that?’ What ELSE could you have been thinking of it as?”

“I um- I did realize it was bad and that he needed to stop immediately.”

“And? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Martin awkwardly mutters something.

“Sorry what’s that?”

“I thought it was sweet he was so worried and that he’d- I don’t know, get over it?”

Tim laughs and looks at him with bewilderment.

“You didn’t tell me he was breaking into my home because you have a CRUSH? That’s what- that doesn’t seem very fair to you know, my safety or privacy Martin.”

“No, I know and I’m sorry, I promise that I won’t let it get in the way again.”

“It better not.”

Martin stands there awkwardly for a moment not knowing what to say until Tim breaks the silence again.

“Really though? Him?”

“He’s- you know like bureaucratic sexy?”

“That’s definitely not a thing.”

“No like it- an academic way kind of.”

“Hm. I personally think he looks like a drown rat but no accounting for taste I suppose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen. I think Martin is ace personally, but I heard Alex talk about “bureaucratic sexy” and went oh fuck that’s Martin af he had a crush on JON of all people. Are you fucking kidding me. So yeah


	8. Chapter 8

Martin had wanted to pool the knowledge the woman (Helen, HES pretty sure that was her name) and Sasha had. He wanted to sit her down for few hours to calm down and drink tea and figure this out, find the next step.

He wants. But he knows, in the mental state she’s in, she won’t be as much help as she could. Maybe waiting a day or two would clear her head, so he lets her go for now.

He tries to see if there’s anything else Sasha might have left out that they can work with but.... nothing.

“Do you even know they’re lying to you?” A voice asks, and Martin whips around.

“Um, sorry? Who? Wait what are- I’m sorry the Archive isn’t actually open to the public I’m afraid, and this isn’t the best place to talk about this sort of thing?”

The thing laughs at him and Martins head fills with static.

“You don’t know how any of this works do you?”

“I uh- no, I don’t but I’d like to? What- why are you here exactly? I don’t think you actually have all the answers I need, and I’m assuming you aren’t here to kill me. Wait you aren’t here to kill me right?”

“Not yet as such, it would destroy the fun far to soon. No, I’m simply collecting what is mine, the one who enters my domain.”

“The one who- oh. Helen. That makes you Micheal then.”

“That is a real name.”

“What does- no never mind not the- you can’t have Helen, she got away the once and she left before you got here.”

It laughs again.

“Did she? And did you notice which door she left through Archivist?”

“She- oh, oh no you- bring her back. Now.”

“No?” It says.

And then it stabs him.

Martin hates to admit it, it makes him feel like a coward, but he drops the conversation there and leaves the room (after carefully looking through the door first). There is no reason to believe that if he pisses it off more it won’t hurt anyone. It promised not to kill him (yet at least) but no such promises were made for anyone else and he doesn’t want to risk it. He’s relatively sure him leaving is the safest bet as it only seems interested in him and taking Helen.

He flies by the assistances and into the storage room with the cot and first aide kit.

He’s dealt with most his wounds alone, and this is no different. Better not to involve them as much as possible.


	9. Chapter 9

Melanie comes in to give another statement.

She’s…. Well she’s a little frightening to be honest, but as much as she hates the institute and Jon, she seems fine with him.

At least until she finishes the statement. She asks about Sasha, if she still works here or not, but he assumes it’s a misunderstanding because Sasha’s right there right?

The statement right after is about something similar though, and her desk is full of recordings of someone who sounds entirely different and-

And he’s so, SO angry. He wants to hurt this thing, to keep it away from his Archives but he’s not the violent type and has no idea how to get rid of it. He thinks about maybe destroying the table, but Sasha died just looking at it, and she was so much more competent than him so how can he stop it?

He decides to make a plan, to wait, because he’s always been good at waiting.

It’s a good thing he does wait, because the statements seem to point to the table being a prison, and he plans to find a way to bury it in the tunnels.

It doesn’t matter though, because Micheal breaks the table himself that night, tired of waiting for entertainment now that the mystery has been revealed.

\--------------------------------------------

Leitner explains the way of things to him, and it makes so much sense because he KNEW he didn’t have the qualifications for this job, and that worm monsters targeting his people wasn’t a coincidence, he KNEW it. 

He has to leave for a moment to calm himself, or he might literally get sick from thinking about it too much.

When he comes back Leitner is dead and he wants to panic.

He doesn’t know what to do, or where to go.

He grabs “a disappearance” and “the seven lamps of architecture,” and goes back into the tunnels.

It’s all he has. After all, everyone is going to think he killed Leitner and Sasha, especially Jon. Jon, who’s been so paranoid these last months and never thought he should’ve had the job in the first place, who knows he worked here the longest out of them and will assume he knew Gertrude the best.

He hates the tunnels, but he doesn’t have any other options. Everyone he knows would turn him in.

\--------------------------------------

“There is no way Martin murdered some random old man, and he CERTAINLY didn’t murder Sasha,” Jon says stubbornly at the police woman.

Daisy is seething at this. She would GLADLY pin the entire thing on this smug pick, but that might get in the way of her finding the real monster.

“And why are you so sure of that? Know someone else I should be looking into?”

“No, I don’t. I’ve been trying to figure out who killed the last person the police refused to look into as well, but I’ve had no luck. I just know that Martin is far too anxious and sensitive to kill anyone. He writes _poetry.”_

“Writing poetry isn’t a sign that someone can’t be a monster.”

Jon gives her a skeptical look and shrugs.

While the Tim fellow makes much more sense, he staunchly defends Martin as incapable of murder as well, although both seem to genuinely be at a loss to where he could be.

As does Elias, which he seems oddly pissed about for some reason.

Oh well, she supposes, she has other ways of tracking down monsters.

There is, after all, not one she’s lost yet.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys know it took Jon around TWO MONTHS or more to get to twice as bright? Anyway I wasn’t going to make Martin live in the tunnels that long and no ones sending him tapes anyway so.

It doesn’t take long for Martin to feel like he’s going crazy in the tunnels.

Down here he doesn’t really have... anything. He didn’t plan on getting stuck down here, heck he didn’t plan on even VISITING today.

He’s lucky he at least has his flashlight. He took the Leitners too, just to make sure no one else stumbles upon them.

He’s to scared to use them for the most part. He’ll read exactly one word out of “a disappearance” before leaving the tunnels to steal food from the Archives break room, and the occasional statement. He is trying to conserve his lights after all, but.... he needs to understand what’s going on, how to fix this, and just waiting isn’t going to do it, and he can’t go out, so really all he has is... this. Half eaten lunches and the first statement he can lay his hands on.

He very specifically avoids document storage, just in case Jon ever decides to stay over time.

Idiot, Martin thinks fondly.

The statements, they drive him mad too. He doesn’t- the things out there, the things like him, they all seem to lose themselves, to be little more than puppets on a string, but he still feels... like himself. Like nothing’s changed.

So he decides, statements won’t cut it anymore, and he speeds up the pace he’s reading them, even if it gives him nightmares and makes him feel sick, because he needs to know what to do next.

He finds some clues about someone named Jude Perry, and uses the computers in the middle of the night to try and find her, and is ecstatic when she actually shows.

It’s his first time out since the murder, his first time talking to someone.

He hates how she yells at him for asking questions. It reminds him of mum a bit, but really what bugs him is the implication behind it. Until she starts shouting at him, he has no clue him asking questions was anything special. He thought people answered because they felt bad for him or because that’s what you do to be polite or something, not that he was....

That he was forcing it out of them.

He isn’t stupid. He knows exactly what’s going to happen when he gives her his hand, but he NEEDS to know, he can’t have the trail end here, not on something so sadistic because he REFUSES to believe he’ll become anything like her.

So he sticks his hand out, because he knows how to read people, and how to know when they’re bluffing and when you need to give them what they ask.

It hurts so much worse than he thought though, and he knows he doesn’t have a first aid kit in the tunnels, and that it’s broad day light so he can hardly get one now and-

He’s about to sneak back into the tunnels when a first aid kit stops being his chief concern, because someone has a knife to his throat.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s short and not great but it’s something here you go!

Jon was getting... frustrated to say the least.

“I don’t see how Melanie joining is my fault Tim.”

“Because you were the only one in the room at the time! You should’ve said something!”

“I did! I told her not to work here and she said that I’d have to get over it, because as much as she doesn’t like me I’m not stopping her, and then she threw a pen at me.”

“Yes, that sounds fantastic, I would also like to throw things at you.”

“What is your problem right now?!? Martin and Sasha are MISSING, and two people have been murdered, now isn’t the time to be confrontational with the only other person who understands what’s going on!”

Tim is seething, and looks ten seconds away from punching Jon.

“You are not seriously lecturing me on harassing you while, in the same sentence, still obsessing over Gertrude’s murder.”

“There’s another dead person now, and they might have killed Martin and Sasha too, right now is the PERFECT time to be worried about a potential murderer!”

“I’m just saying, you are the last person who gets to point fingers Jon.”

“What does that- are you accusing ME of murdering them?”

“Well we know that you’ve hated Martin for a long time, and he certainly didn’t do it, and I didn’t, so who’s left?”

Jon goes sort of quiet at this.

“You- you don’t really think I’d ever do something like that do you?”

“Do you think I’d kill Gertrude? I’m not the one who was stalking peoples homes Jon.”

He winces at this, and Tim goes to speak again.

“I’m- I don’t actually think you would I just- everyone else is gone, and I’m stuck with someone who’s paranoid and doesn’t trust me, after years of knowing me.”

“Tim-“

“I’m going to lay down.”

And something twists in Jon’s stomach.

He doesn’t suspect Tim anymore, but he doesn’t know what to do to fix all this.

Martin and Sasha are missing, and he’s pushed Tim away enough he doesn’t know if he can fix it.

Loneliness joins his guilt.


	12. Chapter 12

Jon is ELATED when Martin shows back up, and is far less elated when he sees Martin grimace and give him an awkward wave, at which point Jon sees the murder cop behind him along with Basira.

He feels like all the airs been pulled out of his lungs at the sight.

“Hey Jon can you uh- can you get Tim and meet us up in Elias’s office?”

Jon doesn’t want to take his eyes off Martin for a second after he disappeared like that but...

He’s bleeding. He’s hurt and sounds frighten, and there’s someone pointing a gun to his back, and he knows this isn’t something he could help with by himself.

He nods, and decides to get Melanie as well, as long as he’s getting back up.

——————-

Martin refuses to ask the question right away. If Elias was able to get away with two murders, he would certainly be able to give him the truth then deceive everyone else.

“Martin, what’s going on? What are you- what happened?” Jon asks.

“Oh Christ what is it now?” Tim adds.

“Er, yeah, same question please.” From Melanie.

Martin feels like practically hissing at Elias.

“He’s about to confess his crimes. So go on Elias, tell us, did you kill Gertrude Robinson and Leitner?” 

“That’s- that’s quite nice actually. Tingly but sort of freeing.”

“Gross” Tim and Melanie both mutter.

“Before I answer, it’s important to me you all know that nothing I’ve done has been controlled, it has all been of my own free will.”

That makes the anger in Martin spike higher than before.

“I don’t care why, just answer the question Elias.”

He sighs like Martin is ruining his fun.

“Yes Martin, for the avoidance of any doubt, I killed Gertrude Robinson because she tried to burn down the archives, and I killed Juergen Leitner because he was an unnecessary complication, likely to tell you too much too soon.”

Martin puzzles that over in his head a bit. What information would Elias need to keep from him enough to murder a man?

Everyone else of course is thrown by the Leitner thing, Jon especially seeming to be ecstatic about it to a creepy level.

And then, Tim asks if Elias killed Sasha, and something clicks in his mind.

He’s had a few weeks to wonder about what exactly happened with Sasha, and with the revelation that Elias is borderline omniscient, he seethes with the idea that he knew and didn’t tell, and that he killed Leitner to keep him in the dark, there has to be a reason why.

So when Daisy threatens to kill him at first, he is content with this idea. She frightens him and he’s probably next, but he doesn’t care what happens to the man who knew his friend was dead for months and let him be kind to her killer, who’s first murder sent him and Jon into a paranoid spiral and who’s second murder was put on him.

Until the moment it’s revealed that the death of Elias leads to the death of all of them, and he starts planning.

He stays until the rest of them are gone, and it’s not a lie that he’s worried about loosing his humanity, he is, but he certainly doesn’t trust anything Elias says anymore. His goal is to seem the opposite, that he’s relying on him to a frightening degree.

When he finishes, Jon is waiting nervously outside the door which doesn’t.... seem very him.

“Jon? What are- did you need something?”

He doesn’t really give a proper answer, just furrows his brow in concern.

“What happened to your hand?”

“Oh I uh- I shook hands with someone made of wax? It wasn’t my smartest moment.”

“That explains why it’s vaguely hand shaped. And the indent in the middle?”

“Daisy was- I hate her. She was having me dig.”

“Dig?”

“Yes, I think she was planning on killing me and burying me there.”

The color leaches out of Jon’s face.

“Ah. I see.”

“Yeah....”

Jon sort of... snatched his hand from him, and starts pulling him behind him. 

“Well, best take care of that before it gets infected then.”

Martin’s a bit... confused by what’s happening right now. Jon’s still being a bit bossy, but he’s acting really awkward and worried at the same time, and he doesn’t really know what to do with that.

As Jon pulls the splinters out of the burn, and gets to disinfecting it and wrapping it up, his face is pinched in concentration, and he keeps looking up at Martin as he works, and then quickly looking away again.

“Quit moving,” he mutters, grabbing at his wrist, which doesn’t really do much because his hands are rather small in comparison, and then “if I knew it was Leitner and you had killed him, I wouldn’t have blamed you.”

“Oh” he says a bitterly.

“That being said none of us thought you did it for a moment.”

“Oh,” he says again, his face going red this time. “I’m- thanks. That- that means a lot.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones kind of short but anyway. Here.

Martin decides to almost immediately go after Mike Crew, despite the protests of Jon and Tim. If he’s going to get his hand burnt for the information, he’s damn well not going to let it go to waste.

“You sure you don’t want a cup of tea?”

“I’m... no I’m fine I just- I’m from the Magnus Institute?”

“Yes, you said earlier.”

“There were some statement involving you. You uh- threw a guy off of a skyscraper in Paris? I was just- hoping that you might be able to tell me a bit more about the entities.”

“Last chance for that cup of tea.”

This is... he wants to know more SO MUCH. But he recognizes that tactic and voice. It’s the same one he uses when he pretends he doesn’t understand his mother’s insults, the obvious side stepping.

This is a dangerous game, but he’s good at waiting. Crew doesn’t seem to actively want him dead so if he works to build something, and bides his time maybe... maybe he can get something from this.

“Actually I- yeah I think I’ll take that. Been awhile since I had a cuppa.”

“Good choice.”

He learns nothing, just sits there quietly for an uncomfortably long time.

“What kind of tea is this?”

“Lemon.”

“Right... I know a few really good recipes, and some shops that sell excellent stuff. I can make the tea next time?”

Mike looks at him surprised.

“You want to do this again?”

“I guess?”

“I’m not going to give you anymore information either way.”

Martin let’s put a disappointed sigh.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t say that. Still, offer stands.”

Mike lets out an amused huff.

“You know I’m vaguely a monster right?”

“From what I understand, I am too I guess, but you haven’t thrown me off anything yet so. This is my number, if you do decide to take me up on it, or change your mind in the help department.”

He looks a bit befuddled but he’s smiling, so Martin takes it as a win.

“Sure.”


	14. Chapter 14

Martin is getting really fucking tired of monsters.

First, he gets kidnapped by an evil mannequin. Which, yeah, you’d think sounds funny at first, except for the fact that everyday without his consent he’s manhandled and moisturized while being told in excruciating detail how he’s going to be skinned alive, his muscles are all cramping up from not moving, and he’s still wearing the same clothes he got kidnapped in.

He doesn’t know if he’s ever been more miserable in his life. More afraid, maybe. More miserable? No.

When Micheal shows up with the promise to kill him, Martin is halfway tempted to scream and get the attention of the others out of spite, but in the end, decides not to. He may be angry, but he’s not going to help end the world over it.

And then, Micheal tells him his story, and it’s terrifying. He was a person, just like him once, nervous and fawning, eager to please. His only sin was being ignorant, was trusting too much.

It breaks his heart in a way. He thinks about if he could do something so cruel to his own assistances to save the world.

The answer Martin comes up with is disappointing, but not surprising. He’s never been good at empathizing on a larger scale, unable to quite guess what someone might feel if he can’t see them, or remember what an emotion feels like outside of “bad” or “good” if he’s not feeling it in the moment.

It’s so stupid. They’d die too, if he let the world end, but he’s always been a coward. 

He can sacrifice himself though, make it easier for everyone else. He isn’t that important, not in the big scheme of things.

He goes to open the door, and the handle won’t budge.

“It’s um- it’s locked?”

Micheal laughs- LAUGHS, the utter gall- at him.

“It’s not.”

“Look, I already agreed to letting you eat me or whatever, just unlock it!”

“It can’t be!”

“Well then, if that’s the case why don’t YOU open it?”

Micheal does, and the color drains from his face.

“Th-Tha-That-That’s… not – Oh. Oh no.”

He screams, crumpling, and Helens standing there.

“Do you want to come in?”

“Helen? You- you’re alive?”

“I don’t know. Do you still want to leave here?”

“Yes, of course. You aren’t- I know Micheal wanted to kill me, do you want to as well?”

“No. I’m not entirely sure what to feel about you. Helen liked you, so there’s a lot to consider.”

“Riiiiiight....”

“You aren’t worried that I’m lying?” She asks, and Martin simply shrugs.

“That was the plan before, so it doesn’t really matter, I’m going with you either way.”

He looks down at the crumpled form of Micheal, who’s letting out rattling breathes that make Martin uncomfortable.

“Hey I’m- I know he sort of tried to eat you, but I’m- can I bring him in too? Maybe get him to a hospital?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I projecting on Martin a little and also 100% subscribing to the idea of low empathy Martin? Hell yes.
> 
> Also. Nowhere does it say Micheal died, just that he screamed really loud and stopped being the distortion, and this is MY story I CHOOSE WHAT HAPPENS MWAHAHAHA


End file.
